Homeless.

Okay so this post is just me rambling, so feel free not to feel obligated to read! :)

I don't want to sound like I was raised under a rock, in a perfect little town where no one is homeless because that obviously isn't the case. You frequently see homeless people on corners in Longview. Living here in Jacksonville it seems like everywhere you turn there are people holding signs or slowly moving down the sidewalk in their wheelchairs. I know no one likes to see these people, but all of these people pull at my fragile little heartstrings!! I always feel so obligated to help in someway although I don't ever really do anything. Of course I have always been told since I was itty bitty that I wear my heart on my sleeve, and I have to agree. I'm sensitive! :)

I always think of myself as non-judgemental but then there are so many cases that I see these people and I want to give them money and then I think wait, why so they can go buy a cheap bottle of whiskey and drink their lives away.... But really who am I to judge? If I spare some of the change that I have piled up in the console of the car and they really do buy themselves some food, AWESOME....if they decide alcohol is what they need, at least I tried and I did what felt like I needed to right?

We went to the dog park downtown for the first time this week, and we were driving through downtown around 4 pm... it seemed like every other corner there was a HUGE line of homeless people waiting to get into the shelter and hopefully get a bite to eat. The first that popped into my head was the movie 'Pursuit of Happyness'. (yes happyness isn't the correct spelling, but that's how they spell it for the movie for a particular reason). I love this movie, it's a true story about a man and his son who struggle and become homeless, all while the dad is interning at a stock broker place to try and better himself, which eventually pays off. But they would rush to get in line everyday at 4 hoping for a safe place to sleep instead of a subway bathroom. It's sad, it really is because there are so many homeless that are good people who lost their way. They are all someones child, parent, siblings... But seeing all if them in line the other day made me really sad. I just kept thinking about what could have gone wrong that made them end up where they are... While we were at Ted's pre-deployment meeting last year there was a guy speaking and he was saying how the majority of homeless are veterans who suffered traumatic experiences in wars and what not and didn't get the treatment they needed to help overcome that, and ended up on the streets talking to worms in the dirt. There is a guy that lives in the woods a few miles from here that we see all the time, he is pretty old looking and he sits on the side of the road and digs in the dirt talking to himself. It's sad.... I hate seeing it. But every time we pass by I notice I look for him. Ted has decided that once he gets his new pair of work boots he is giving his old pair to someone homeless, maybe this guy. They are very sturdy boots that while last forever...they will do someone else more good then sitting in our closet.

Then there are those people that could care less about anyone other then their own selfish wants and don't care what they put their children through in the process. We were pulling into walmart the other day (which I HATE, by the way) and on the corner was a guy prolly late 20's-early 30's... he was kinda thuggish looking and posted up against a tree and standing in front of him is a BABY...no older then 2 years old holding a cardboard sign that said "homeless, anything helps"...BUT the A-hole of a guy was SMOKING! It made me so upset! I wanted to go crazy on the guy but of course around here I don't have the guts to do anything bc you never know who will pull a gun on you or something crazy. But really I felt so bad for this little boy... I'm pretty sure the cops did something about it though because they weren't there for long at all. I had hoped they were there when we were leaving so Ted and I could have at least given the little boy some food. How could you be so selfish...my kids are starving but all is well because I have my cigarettes... It really just makes me crazy!

more rambling..sorry :)

I was watchin True Life: I'm homeless on MTV the other day. There was a mother and daughter being evicted from their apartment. The daughter wasn't old enough to work and the mother couldn't work bc of health issues. They were both way overweight and it was for sure obvious they were just lazy. They are packing to get out of the apartment and I noticed a brand new laptop on the table and a could t.v. remote like ours. If you can't afford to pay rent and eat do you really think those things are something you need? NO! the show seemed like it was geared to make you feel sorry for them and I couldn't! I know it wasn't the daughters fault but when she turned 16 she said she could work but didn't want to! It makes me crazy to see all of these people that have babies every year and live off of the government because they can't afford food and rent but they dang sure have rims on their decked out car and the newest cell phone out! I for sure support the government helping those that are willing to help themselves and deserve it but I think there should be some better screening to get assistance instead of letting all of these people that think we owe them something keep taking advantage of us!

okay, sorry for all of the non sense... I will post a updating blog tomorrow! It's bedtime for this sleepy mommy!! :)